LOOK FOR THE BEST IN OTHERS AND IN LIFE

Consistently looking for the best in people you love, in life and the world helps create an deepen happiness. It does not mean being a Pollyanna who pretends negative things do not exist. Looking for the best acknowledges that something has a negative effect on us or others. But it also acknowledges that the negative is not the only reality in a given time or person.

People are not perfect (including you and me!). Yet even though we all do and say stupid things sometimes, and sometimes say or do things that have hurtful effects on someone else, that doesn't take away the best of who we are. So even when someone does something that frustrates me or feels hurtful, I like to hold that behavior in one hand as something I need to address. Sometimes I need to explore inside myself why that bothered me or hurt me so much, why I am reacting the way I am, what I'm telling myself about that behavior or person. Other times it is something I need to discuss with the person after I've done my own self reflection. But I regularly remind myself that while I hold that in one hand, I can continue to hold the best of who that person is in my other hand.

Looking for and holding the best goes beyond just the people in our own lives. There are terrible things that happen in the world and as human beings we need to name them and take action -- but those things do not take away the best of what is in the world. I can hold both the terrible and the transcendent of humanity. There are devastating forces of nature, but that does not take away its beauty. I can hold the sadness or anger at the tragedy of a tsunami or boko-haram and in the other hand I can hold the magnificence of a flower or a sunset or the birth of a new baby.

I don't know about you, but I know when I experience physical, emotional, or relational pain, the pain becomes like a whirlpool that wants to suck me into it. It pulls in my energy, my attention and if I'm not careful, it can easily become all that exists for me in that moment. But I know it isn't all that is. There is the pain -- AND there is the reality of the good in life, in a person, in the day. I don't always do it perfectly. Sometimes I am in that whirlpool before I realize that it is pulling me into it. But, as soon as I can get my head out of the water to gulp in some air, I have the chance to remind myself of having two hands in which I can hold both the worst and the best. Sometimes I literally have to look at my two hands to remind myself! Staying conscious of that helps me hold on to the best of me and my life and at the same time gives a bigger context in which I can address the issue or take action.

We do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are TFF

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A NEW DAY, A NEW QUESTION

It amounts to the degree of wherewithall and awareness one possesses as to how many questions we have regarding where we might stand in our relationship, if one exists. One confident gent may declare his firm foothold with the girl of his heart while in reality she’s been trying to elude the task of telling him to ‘Beat it’ for some time. Another may have too many questions and that would surely be an indicator as to something being amiss. Don’t frustrate yourself and don’t sabotage yourself either. Set up ways to open up the 2 of you as a topic and find out just where you stand by making it easy on her. She’ll appreciate it if done gracefully and this will be an opportunity to gain the necessary insight into your relationship. Could be a simple oversight and something repairable or a chance to move apart from one another before it’s really too late…

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WAYS OF BUILDING TRUST IN YOUR REALTIONSHIPS

Dear Wonderful Readers,

Have you been hurt in the past?

Has someone cheated, lied, or betrayed you?

Do you want to know how to trust again?

The truth is everything starts from within.

If you don't love yourself, how can you love others?

If you don't accept yourself, how can you accept others?

If you don't forgive yourself, how can you forgive others?

If you don't trust yourself, how can you trust others?

It takes time to build trust in a relationship. The question is “How”?

Here is how.

1. Trust Yourself

Trust that you are good enough. Trust that you are worthy of love and capable of loving. Trust that you are in the right place, at the right time, and meet the right people. All of the experiences in the past are your great teachers. Each lesson in life is teach you to become the person you are today. Trust that you deserve to live to the fullest. Trust that you can be, do, and have anything you want. Give yourself that gift of trust. And see what else is there for you to explore.

2. Trust Life

Trust that everything happens for a reason. Life is about loving, living, learning, growing, and becoming who you are here to be—the best you can be. No matter how many challenges you are facing, trust yourself that you can overcome it. Lessons come to you because you need them. Trust in your own abilities to face challenge and solve problems that come. You have that power to create the world you want. When you don't trust life, you live in fears, doubts, and worries. As a result, you limit yourself to receive blessings that come your way. When you trust life, you know that you can survive in any difficult situation. Suffering does not last. Some relationships don't last either. Material things don't last. Your job you have today might not last. What would last forever? It is trust in life and trust in yourself that whatever comes your way, you are able to face it with love, strength, and courage.

3. Trust Others

Often people don't trust others because they have been hurt before. They close their hearts tightly. They hold on to the past events that happened in their lives. They live in fears. When they meet new people, or new opportunities, they remind themselves that they have been hurt in the past and convince themselves that they will get hurt again. Guess what! If you believe that you will get hurt again, you will. You are the one who attract the energy. You are the one who causes it by projecting your own future. You still live in the past and you make your past become your reality. Give yourself a chance to first trust yourself. Then, be open to trust others. Just because you had a broken heart in the past, it does not mean that you would experience it again. Even if you experience it again, there is always a gift behind each experience to teach you to learn more about yourself.

4. Accept Yourself

If you make a mistake in the past, stop beating yourself up. Accept that you made a mistake/ mistakes. We all do them. Cheer up! Hug yourself, love yourself, and nurture yourself. Accept that you can't change the past. Accept that you can't change others. It is hard enough to change yourself, so why bothers thinking about changing others. You can't go back to fix it. Ask yourself “What can I learn from this experience? And What can I do now in order to move forward?” You are a powerful being. Don't allow the negativity thoughts or emotions to control you. You can be liberated from it by accepting yourself completely and love yourself unconditionally. Accept yourself NOW.


5. Be Open & Embrace Life

When you are open to the new, you are more open to trust that life has so much to give you. Life is full of wonder. Explore something new that you have never experienced before. Go out in the word and make new friends. When new people or opportunities come, be open to embrace them. By being open and embracing life you will receive more blessings. It is because we live in an abundance of love. Love comes to you from different directions. You just need to be open your heart and embrace life.

6. Be Patient

It takes time to trust someone. Be patient with yourself. Work on trusting yourself first. Then, trusting others will fall into line.

7. Be Present

No regret from the past. No worries about the future. Be here now. If you have a trust issue from your past relationship, leave it in the past. Everyday is your new day and new beginning. Be here now with the relationship you have. Life is to live in the NOW. Breathe...Feel your heart beat. Treasure this precious moment NOW.

8. Be Aware of Your Surrounding

Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time with those people who truly love you, support you, and want the best for you. They trust in you and your ability to be, to do, and to have anything in life. Avoid those who don't trust in your ability, who look down on you, who are jealous, who are negative, etc. Avoid those people who are not supportive.


9. Be Trustworthy

Live with integrity. Do what you say that you are going to do. Keep being consistent. If you say that you would call him/ her at 6:00pm., then call at 6:00pm. If you promise to show up at a birthday party, then show up at the certain time. There comes a time, when you might not be able to keep your words. Then, that leads you to the next step.

10. Forgive

Forgiveness is a medicine for Soul. It is a healing. If someone broke your trust in the past, it is very important for you to forgive that person. Why? If you still hold on to your past hurt, guess who is hurting? It is you. If you are angry at someone and holding on to that anger, who is hurting? It is you. If you make a mistake, forgive yourself. If someone betrayed, lied, and and cheated on you, forgive yourself for holding on to negative feelings toward those who hurt you. In order for you to move forward, you need to forgive yourself and others for everything that happened to you in the past. You will be liberated by all the negativity, and be ready to take the next step. That is to trust again.


Please read my previous article about "Forgiveness"


11. Ask Yourself “What would love do?”

When you ask yourself that question, you are connecting with truth. With the heart, you are linked up with your higher self which is the pure being; LOVE. With love, you will find truth. When you do things with your whole heart, your whole being, you do the right thing. The right thing is to trust yourself again and again...And again...

12. Be Grateful

Be grateful for each experience you have. Get the most out of it. We learn fast when we face with challenge, disappointment, broken hearts, and hurt. Let your experiences be your best teachers. Without them, you would not have become who you are today. You become wiser and stronger. Most importantly, you become to trust yourself and trust life more. The more grateful you are, the more trust you have in your heart. The more you trust your heart, the more you trust others.


TFF

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