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Friday, 21 September 2012

FIVE (5) SIMPLE WAYS TO HANDLE YOUR OBNOXIOUS FACEBOOK FRIENDS

We all have them — no matter what side of the spectrum we're on. They're the Facebook friends who can't post a status update without making it political, or who seem to share every last bit of oversimplified propaganda they come across. And in this election season, they grate like fingernails on a taxpayer-funded chalkboard — one of the most commonly cited reasons for unfriending someone is their political postings. Maybe you even agree with their politics, but you can't stand how inflammatory their posts are. Maybe they're polite enough, but you can't help being shocked at how opposite they are on the spectrum from you and it bothers you immensely. Either way, you need to escape this election season with a modicum of sanity left intact. So here's what to remember:

 Breathe Before Responding: As the pace of communication picks up, it's easy to become trigger-happy in firing off a response to a comment that gets you riled. But once you say it, you can't take it back — whether you can technically delete it or not. Your response (or thoughtful non-response) will be much more cogen and effective if you take a few minutes as a waiting period before letting yourself press "Post." It will let you calm down, have a wider focus, and at the very least, save you from some typos!

 Use Technology to Your Advantage: Facebook has "hide" options; avail yourself of them. If you're tired of your prom date's dissertations on the injustices of the tax code, you don't have to read them. Explore your settings and use one of the many methods of tuning someone out-- without their ever knowing about it.

 Look at the Big Picture: Presumably you're friends with these people, or at least "friends" with these people, for a legitimate reason. (If you never liked them in the first place, well, then that's a different article.) Try to remember those reasons, and remind yourself that it's good to have friends who think differently than you do, and that they are a human being not completely defined by their politics. Of course, if their Facebook postings make it seem like they actually are human beings who define themselves solely by their politics, this is a problem. And a break from them until after the election hooplah has died down might not be a bad idea.

Duct Tape Some Boundaries: If you find that you're getting too involved in the political mudpit online and it's affecting you in a negative way, protect yourself. Maybe this means you set a time limit of how long you're allowed to be on Facebook every day or evening; perhaps it entails restricting yourself from going back and posting your ninth response in that argument that got out of hand. Figure out where your behavior is feeling a little out of control, and rein it in with a specific and tangible boundary that you reward yourself for not crossing.

Be Informed: On Facebook, misinformation, just like pictures of newborns in those lovely pink-and-blue-striped hats, can spread like wildfire. Make sure you don't contribute to the cesspool by automatically passing along something you see. A conscientious, thoughtful poster who takes the time to voice a dissenting opinion — without any trace of passive-aggression — can have more power than dozens of "sharers." Oh, what a Facebook that would be if everyone became such a poster! TFF

BEAUTIFUL LOVE POEM FOR A SPECIAL SOMEONE

There is peace in my soul For such a long awaited time There is love in my life A love of melody and rhyme. Once you took hold of my heart I knew no other could have reached As whispered fate took my hand To levels only you could reach. You are the soul of my soul The sea of my heart The man of my dreams I can never part. For only once in a lifetime Could take hold so fast What is meant to be Of a love so vast. You in my life Will live eternally. I knew the first night we met You were meant for me. TFF

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

BASIC STEPS TO CAREER DEVELOPMENT

Allow me to suggest, based upon my own life experience and observing the world around me, that there’s a hierarchical process of steps and stages in the career development process that evolve something like I’ve outlined below.
Why is it important to give thought to stages in the process? Well, for one there’s the matter of investing tens of thousands of dollars and Naira's in a university education, an investment where the odds of success might be improved by increasing the certainty that your “market timing” – your child’s readiness to profit from the expense of higher education – is well timed.

Where are you or your child in the process of developing their career and career skills:?



  1. The “thinking about a career” stage. It’s the point where you realize that childhood and dependency may (will) come to an end, so you may have to do something to fill the rest of your life. You really don’t know much of anything about work or the demands of life.  You know very little about “the job”. However, when asked, you know that having an answer . . . sounds grown up? It’s the “I want to be an astronaut” or “I want to be famous” stage.
  2. The “I think I want to be” stage of career development. Emphasis on “I think” – suggesting that some real thought has been applied to the answer. Of course there are levels of “I think”, the depth of which can be quickly measure by most simply by asking a few questions. The more you know about the career the better the questions and the degree of illumination.
  3. The “I believe” stage, as in “the level of certainty is increasing” but . . . and it’s a big one . . . there may be no – zero – direct experience “of the job”. Belief tends to be something untested by experience.
  4. The advanced “I want to be a . . (career/job/profession)” stage, a statement that tends to be made in a somwhat more mature and convincing voice. At this stage the speaker can give concrete reasons why the have made the career decision, why the career is right for them, etc. Again, an absence of direct involvement in the career path (summer job, internship, time spend at job as a volunteer, etc.) tends to lend . . or detract . . credence from the statement.
  5. The “I choose to be . . and exclude” stage. As an example, choosing a college major or college degree program. Usually there is the intial “choice” (more of a suggestion or concrete idea) make when applying to college. However, until the trial by fire of college level chemistry or organic chemistry, or certain engineering classes, there is still is room for re-thinking. Again, college life isn’t work life, but once a student is well into their second or third year of college the language of choosing a career is still in flux. The words chosen or a look on one’s face to help to identify the level of clarity, certainty, etc.
  6. The “I am” stage, as in I AM a lawyer or I AM a nurse. It’s the voice of a recent graduage or new initiate into a career.
  7. The “I am and I choose it all” stage of career choices. It’s the stage where you have qualified for the work and have practiced the art for awhile. There are similar stages in other avenues of life – like marriage or child raising – the point where you know you are in it for the long haul, having seen the good, tasted the bad, and encountered the ugly . . . and not turned and fled. And any of you, with any miles on you, know exactly what I’m talking about.
So, when you are engaging someone today or tomorrow and the subject of making career choices comes up, listen with a keen ear and look with a keen eye.  Listen for and encourage an awareness in the person speaking about their career choices to make the next move up the hierarchy.
For what it’s worth, from what I can see about the world today, one of the biggest “missing elements” in successful career choice making is an absence of direct experience “with the career” – the work environment, the nature of co-workers, the demands of the job, etc.  If you can help bridge that divide – the gap between thinking about a career and having a degree of experience “with the career” – you may be giving someone one of the biggest gifts of their lives.

TFF

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