WHO ARE YOUR REAL FRIENDS

In a time where social media is at its peak, the world is smaller than it’s ever been. Access to a plethora of information is at our finger tips, and it’s very easy to make hundreds, if not thousands of friends, from all over the world via the internet. Weather you have 17 or 1700 friends, a timeless question still remains, “Who are your real friends?”

The answer to this question can solve many problems, even within your Romantic relationship.
Distinguishing Real & Fake Friends:


A real friend is a person who only wants the best for you. A real friend genuinely wishes for your happiness and well being. A real friend would be happy if you are happy in a romantic relationship, job, with other friendships and endeavors.
If your friend becomes jealous because you have made new friends, becomes envious because you are in a happy relationship, or upset because you have found happiness in traveling or in a new love-NOT a real friend.


A real friend will do Real things with you: Hang out with you in your house when nothing else is going on. Listen and respect the inner most part of you which are your thoughts, feelings, gut intuition, philosophy, ideas and questions. A real friend knows who you are, knows your passions and desires, your ideals and goals in life.


If a friend is only there to party, for social gatherings, “likes” all your photos and statuses, feels the need to post on social media the slightest things you do together because they feel they have to prove something and basically share more cyber interactions then in-person interactions- NOT a real friend.
A real friendship has stood the test of time. A real friendship has been tested with difficulties, challenges, arguments, disagreements, heartbreaks, pain and sorrow. In spite of all that, the care, love and admiration remain the same or grow! A real friendship has no ulterior motives.
If you only see your friend’s face through a computer screen, if you met the person in a party or on vacation and decided to stay connected, if your times together have only been momentary happiness or physical pleasure with no profound emotional meaning, or if you only stay in touch because of what the person can offer you, like hookups, money, status, and any other material things-NOT a real friend.
Someone once told me, “You know its love when you think about what you can give into the relationship to make the person happy, instead of what you can get from the relationship.”
Integrity, love and respect are essential ingredients to a Real friendship. Selfish desire, personal pleasure and selfish gain are hallmarks of a fake friendship. Understand the difference between the two and set boundaries, you and your partner will thank me later.



TFF

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10 CHARACTERS THAT PERFECTLY DEFINE LOVE

The word love can be very ambiguous. I believe many times the word love is even misused.
I have a real problem with the vast false interpretations of love. So, I came up with 10 things I rather have instead of false love.

Personally These are the 10 CHARACTER THAT PERFECTLY DEFINES LOVE and these works for me (TFF) which is why i would love for you to try it...

Respect- Love and respect go hand in hand. without respect there is no love. With respect there is no physical, verbal or emotional abuse. Before someone claims they loveyou, make sure they respect you as an individual, for who you are, where you come from and what you do. With respect there is no discrimination, name calling or down grading. Respect is the ultimate factor in a having healthy relationship.

Loyalty-This is a characteristic that everyone should desire from someone in a loving relationship. A loyal partner is committed to the relationship and is determined to make it last. Think of your best friend, loyalty is probably the hallmark of that relationship, and it should also be an essential ingredient to a romantic relationship.

Honesty- Billy Joel’s song, Honesty, released in 1979 clearly depicts the essence of Honesty in a relationship:

“If you search for tenderness
it isn’t hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.”

Integrity- This is synonymous to having standards and good morals. An integral person will keep all the above mentioned characteristics and other values like love. I don’t think its possible to actually love someone with having integrity.

Faithfulness- This is self explanatory. Unless you are in an open relationship, most people demonstrate love by being committed to only one person in a relationship. Trust is associated with faithfulness. The question of a lifetime still remains, ‘Can you actually love someone without being faithful to them?’ I still don’t know the answer to that, enlighten me if you will.

Kindness-I believe that love produces kindness. You can demonstrate love by the way you treat someone, and kindness is definitively and act of love.

Care-Many people say the term love and care are interchangeable. If you love someone it means you care for them. Love is care.

Affection-What better way to demonstrate love than with affection? Someone people don’t know any other way to love than to show affection. The ultimate act of affection is sex, also known as making love; Need I say more?

Admiration- There must be something special about your significant other that made you love them in the first place, its called admiration. Love upholds admiration and admiration turns into love…

Faith- I saved the best for last. One of my closest friends, an intellectual, thinker and poet once told me, “Love is…like faith.” Those words have been pressed in my mind indelibly ever since. We can go on forever trying to figure out love. We may never fully understand how someone loves us, the only thing we can do is believe its there. When you love someone, you have faith in your love for them and in their love for you and you make it happen! You cant see love, you cant feel love, but you know its there, and that’s faith!



Be blessed & spread love,
TFF

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THE EX FACTOR IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Is thinking about your ex a bad thing?
Is it right and ideal to compare your ex to your present partner?

Its hard to forget your past, especially if you are a person who likes to analyzes life and try to find out what you can learn from your life experiences. I believe that everything happens for a reason and so, there is a lot to learn from every relationship you have been in.

I was discussing past relationship with a male friend who states that he no longer discusses his past relationships with his new relationships. He avoids telling the whole truth about his past because he feels that if he is completely honest with his new girl, the information will scare her away.
I agreed with him completely! I reassured him that there is no need to discuss his past with your new girl.
I was adamant about the idea until he told me something interesting :

“If the past doesn’t matter, then there would be no purpose for a resume.” I thought the statement was clever and it held some truth.

It’s important to talk about your past for several reasons:

1. First, you need to analyze your past so that you can learn from it. You can analyze it by writing your thoughts and experiences in a journal; or you can discuss it with a close friend. I’ve learned so much about myself in this new relationship, but its all because of what I had been through in my past relationship.

2. Most importantly, from a medical perspective, people should discuss their sexual history with one another BEFORE they engage in sexual activity. You should find out their number of partners, sexual practices: homosexual or heterosexual sex, history of STIs and use of contraceptives. These are important things to know before jumping in the sack.

3. Lastly, even though it is not generally recommended to talk about your ex, when your partner does talk about it, it gives you good insight on what type of person you are dealing with. If your partner tells you that his/her ex’s were along the lines of: crazy, drug addicts, manipulative, or abusers, guess what, most likely your partner has characteristics that attract those types of people, and if you don’t fit the description, RUN AWAY.

These days its hard to find someone with a clean slate. Its like Drake says:
“I feel like I’m bound to end up with somebody
That’s been with everybody.”

So at least be with someone with a descent past. Hopefully, we learn from our pasts relationships and make better decisions when choosing to be with someone in the future. Good luck


TFF

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