ARE YOU PREPARED TO PAY THE PRICE OF SUSTAINABLE SUCCESS/GOAL?

Are you having a bad day?

It seems so when I see you complaining to your friend. He’s throwing a party but now it seems you’re no longer able to go.

To make things even worse for you, your friend has a lot of single female friends who are going to his party.

You are a single guy yourself and it would have been a nice opportunity to meet new and interesting people and have fun at the same time.

But no, you can’t go. You have your first marathon coming up in a couple of days – on the same day as your friend’s party.

You are feeling angry and frustrated. You know that this party is going to be THE party to attend to and now you are going to miss it.

You really want to go to the party instead of sweating for 26.2 miles (42.2 kilometers). You are pondering whether or not you should send an email to the marathon organizers to cancel your participation.

Yes, you are really on the fence on this one!

You entered the game but you weren’t prepared

Your frustration and anger are based on the fact that you got into something that you weren’t ready for. Maybe you were physically prepared for the goal, but the mental readiness wasn’t there yet.

When you entered the marathon challenge, you were full of enthusiasm. But at the same time, you weren’t quite aware that things won’t always go as planned when you need to hit a big goal.

Specifically, you failed to understand that you have to make sacrifices in order to reach your destination. Only this way can you dedicate enough time for your goal and make it happen at some point.

Entering the goal without any mental preparation is going to come back and bite you sooner or later. No matter when it is going to happen, you’ll realize that success is not achieved without sacrifices.

Internal conflicts caused by false expectations

Once you enter an unexpected situation without any preparation, your inner resistance is at its highest. It’s much more difficult to accept something new when you haven’t done any mental preparation in advance.

This new and unexpected choice is going to start an internal conflict inside you: “No, I’m not accepting this!” you think, and you fight back.

However, this fighting makes the situation worse, as you feel even more angered and frustrated. It’s like you are unwilling to accept the current reality: you can’t have it all – at least not now.

There is another factor, which is a real threat to your goals and which plays a major part in your failures: instant gratification.

Too many times the instant gratification takes over and the road towards your goal becomes curvier than you originally thought. In the worst case scenario, the instant gratification can throw you off the road if you are not careful enough.

Prepare, prepare, prepare!

You should know by now that reaching goals – whether they’re big or a small – requires giving up on something and paying the price. Sometimes that price is big, but other times it’s small.

For instance, if you want to become a successful blogger but you don’t have enough time to devote to your blog, you’ll have to start waking up at 5am. Only that way can you focus on your writing and building your site.

On the other hand, if you want to run marathons in under 3 hours, you have to become a disciplined athlete. You have to be careful in your diet (by avoiding junk food) and do the exercises without excuses – no matter if it’s raining or if there is a party coming.

Whatever the case is, there is a price and only you decide if that will be easy or difficult to pay.

First, you should learn more about your goal in advance. This gives you the mental preparation you need and facing the possible setbacks or unexpected situations becomes much easier.

Another important thing that make a difference is your attitude. If you are not willing to accept that you have to make sacrifices, then it’s going to be a rough ride for you.

Finally, know that the rewards will be bigger than the instant gratification that is lurking around the corner.

For instance, after running my first marathon, my life changed and I became an athlete. I know that this has been one of the best things that has happened to me in my life and no party can come even close to that experience.

How to pay the price with the least resistance

From now on, before you commit to any goals, it’s vital to understand what might be ahead of you.

Use these steps to make journey less demanding for you.

1.Take time to learn. Take time to really understand what you are getting into. Don’t just make a promise that you then have a hard time of committing to.

Learn more about the topic and talk to others who have been through the same experience. Soak the information inside you like a sponge, and as much as possible in advance.

This helps you to prepare mentally for the future.

2. Fix your attitude. Another important thing to change is your attitude. In fact, it pretty much determines whether you will be successful or not. The right attitude makes it easier for you to pay the price of the goal.

Understand that you have to make sacrifices until you reach your goal. It could be watching less television, eating less junk food and sweets, running in the rain or waking up early.

At the same time, know that the rewards are much bigger than the instant gratification. You’ll be happy that you didn’t fall into to the trap of instant gratification and give up your journey.

3. It’s temporary. One thing to remember is that in many cases, the sacrifices are temporary.

If you have to give up television in order to have more time for your blog, remember that this is probably only temporary. When you become a successful blogger, you might have more flexibility and time in your daily life than before.

Finally, when you resist the instant gratification and eventually have a chance to experience the gratification, you don’t necessarily want it anymore.

For instance, I used to watch a lot of television and sure, it was more compelling that building my blog at the time. But now that I’ve been blogging for a while, I don’t even like watching the television that much.

I have been able to prioritize these two things and understand that blogging builds my future, while watching television doesn’t.

4. Focus on the end results. Know what is ahead of you and focus on the end results, instead of the temptations that are pulling you off the track.

Just imagine what your life is going to be like after reaching that goal. If this vision is compelling enough, then it’s easier to pull through the setbacks that might occur down the road.

Conclusion

As you can see, reaching goals is never free and you’ll have to pay the price.

Sometimes the price may be small, but in other times it’s big. However, you should be aware of this fact before you start reaching the goal.

Sacrifices are part of the game and once you acknowledge them in advance, your journey will be easier.

Over to you: how do you deal with sacrifices when reaching your goals?

Share your experiences and comments on the comment area.

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BASIC 10 WAYS TOHAPPINESS

It’s easy to assume that as society becomes wealthier and healthier people would become more fulfilled and happy, but this is not the case. Despite all the advancements in technology and increasing access to information and resources people are not becoming happier.

Maybe this is why happiness has become such a popular topic in self-help over the past decade. We are in search of a path leading to true fulfillment and satisfaction and we don’t know which direction to turn.

Fortunately the search for greater happiness has been met by growing knowledge and wisdom about what leads to well-being. The field of psychology has revealed that there are strategies and techniques to increase our well-being, and that becoming a more fulfilled and content person is within our control to some degree.

In particular, when we experience more positive emotions, grow our relationships, are engaged in daily activities, and achieve meaningful goals we can experience more happiness.

These 10 principles can help foster flourishing, abundance, and well-being in this faced paced world.

1.  The Big “O” – Oxytocin: This is the hormone of trust and “love.” It is a natural calming and feel good chemical. It connects and bonds people together and when released will evoke feelings of contentment, reductions in anxiety, and feelings of calmness and security. Simply touching, hugging, and interacting with loved ones can release Oxytocin and enhance intimacy.

2.  Make Friends: Social relationships are a primary source of happiness. Relationships offer not only emotional benefits but physical benefits as well. Having numerous deep relationships has been related to improved physical health, increased self-esteem, and few mental health issues. The more deep and meaningful relationships a person has the more well-being they will experience.

3.  Savoring: A great way to enhance positive emotions is to learn how to savor the deliciousness of life. This relates to vacations, great meals, concerts, movies, conversations, and any others daily pleasures. Staying present in the moment isn’t always easy but when we can focus our attention on the positive emotions in the moment, instead of focusing on what we “could be doing,” we will reap psychological benefits.

4.  Your Work: Do you consider your work to be a job, career or a calling? Finding work we love is a major factor in our overall happiness. This comes from using our character strengths on the job where we can experience “flow,” which is a state where we are totally absorbed in an activity and lose track of time. What can you do to find more challenge and interest in the work you do?

5.  Get Moving and Exercise: A proven way to enhance mood is to stay active and exercise. We have to move to be happy. Even a brisk walk can do wonders for our outlook and daily mood. When adults have around 30 minutes of moderately intense physical activity per day it has been shown to be an important factor in not only physical health, but psychological well-being as well.

6.  Breathe Well: An often overlooked source of calm and health is deep breathing. Our breath is always with us and can be used as an anchor to relax our mind and body. Becoming mindful of our breath can be a tool to manage stress and anxiety in any context. Start taking deeper, longer breaths to get more oxygen flowing through your brain.

7.  Primers: Our emotions can be triggered by an experience, person, or situation that reminds us of something in our past. Our memories can be positive or negative and they are connected to other memories with a similar feeling tone. Make note of what primes your positive states of mind. What places, people, and activities prompt positive memories? Seek these out.

8.  Gratitude: We all have ups and downs each day, though when we focus on and what we still have and what is going well our mood will be enhanced. Start appreciating what you have and be thankful for the relationships, skills, and opportunities that you have been blessed with. To help you do so, keep a gratitude journal or write a letter of gratitude to someone who has helped you but hasn’t been thanked yet.

9. Self-regulation: Developing self-control and temperance can serve a valuable function in how we navigate life. This skill can guide our day to day choices by helping us make healthy and happiness promoting decisions. When we regulate our mood and control our impulses we are able to alter our state of mind. We can respond and adapt to situations in the most effective way.

10. Self-efficacy: Knowing you are capable of dealing with what life throws your way is an important factor for resiliency and life-satisfaction. When we are confidence and hopeful about the future we are able to make changes to better ourselves and solve problems when things go awry. Focus on your past successes and set small achievable goals to raise you self-efficacy.

These ten factors can provide a boost in your well-being and raise your life-satisfaction. Be aware that having a happy mood is a process that comes with true effort and dedication. Living a happy lifestyle involves changing the way we think about life and making intentional choices to get the most from our day to day experiences.

Begin incorporating these ideas today and pay attention to what works best to improve your mood. If you stick with it and make these a part of your routine well-being will follow

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THE TWO WORDS THAT KILLS YOUR DREAMS

There are three words that kill dreams. The funny thing is that most people would consider these three words necessary to make dreams come true. And they do… But as our grandmothers used to say: “There is a place for everything, and everything in its place”, I think something is seriously out of place.

We are a society increasingly focused on pragmatism, on how. We want to get things done and we invest a lot in finding out what works. But we are increasingly a society focused on getting results by looking to what already works whilst dismissing the ideals that seeded them. And this can have a strangling effect on your dreams.

Why? Because ideals, and dreams built from ideals are often not pragmatic. They usually require new ways of thinking to realize. They may offer few (if any) guarantees of success but lots of perceived risk and maybe some real uncertainty. In fact, ideals are not meant to be reasonable or even practical at times. And for that reason, many (unconsciously) negate them in favor of ‘what works’.

At what point did it become okay to sacrifice our dreams because they weren’t practical?

At no other time in history than now was it more convenient to dream ‘impossible’ dreams. If we have a job and food we are doing better than a great percentage of humanity. The opportunities for making a living in a myriad of different ways are better now than they have ever been.

Again I ask: why would you deny that something you yearned after was valuable simply because you couldn’t get it? You can yearn for and value world peace and the unity of mankind if you so wish it (and I do!).

Yes, it may seem unrealistic but some people work towards world peace, the eradication of world poverty. Yes, the odds they face seem insurmountable but they value the ideal itself enough to act on it.

You need why as well as how

Life is full of paradoxes. As you may know, a paradox exists where two seemingly opposing ideas are true as the same time.

For example, in order to be at your most freely creative you need to know the limits you are breaking free of or transcending. And even optimists need some pessimism to make sure they’re prepared for things that may go wrong. As Winston Churchill used to say: “I’m an optimist but I still carry an umbrella!”

We need the ‘how’ – AND we need the why first (and always ) if we are to unfurl and blossom the dream.This is the essence of genius – to be able to hold two opposing ideas in mind at once.

I think we are killing our ‘genius’ by focusing on one side of the success coin to the exclusion of the other.

I think that we are guilty of holding “How do I?” up as an object of worship. We so want results we are getting more and more wary of anything that smacks of an uncertain outcome.

Yet think of someone like Martin Luther King. Having read some of his life history it is not clear that he started with a plan for creating equality amongst all men. Yet he had a dream (!) and he was prepared to try many different avenues for the sake of the dream. He had no guarantee of success and stood to anger some very influential people (not to mention a great number of common people.) He was an idealist who learned how to become a pragmatist.

What we seem to have forgotten (or foregone) is that ideals are valuable in and of themselves. Honesty, justice – the virtues – are beautiful. Wanting to change the world for the better is an ideal, and can be beautiful. It just may not be an instantly beautiful process. In fact, it might be quite a stumbling frustrating one, but one always driven by the ideal.

Having a passion about an ideal, sadly, scares people because we often nowadays see them played out in practical form through extremism of a negative kind – suicide bombers for example. But just because the ideas of fundamentalism and idealism have become associated with terrorism does it mean that finding something fundamentally valuable – and living and loving for it – is inherently bad?

Think of how the world has also changed for the better because of idealism.

You could easily say that Mother Theresa was an extremist in her love for the poor. She said she was driven by the idea that every battered diseased body she was treating was the body of her Lord Jesus. Whether you agree with her motives it’s impossible to deny her impact for the good.

However, I suspect if this little unassuming Albanian nun had suggested she set up a worldwide organization of nuns devoted to serving the poor when she first started she would have been laughed out of the nunnery because it didn’t seem practical.

TFF

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ARE YOU A SLAVE OF PEOPLE'S APPROVAL?

Do you constantly trying to prove to others that you are “good enough?”
We must admit that most of our actions are motivated to win the acceptance and admiration of our peers. There is something about pleasing people that pleases us.

Most of the time, it is our personal insecurities that cause this “I need to be good enough for you” mentality. One psychologist said that to even entertain this “I need to be good enough” debate in your head is already a choice to go to the path of unhappiness. For you will never be good enough in your mind. You will always find something that you need to be “good enough” to please others.
To live in the mercy of other’s approval and acceptance is like building your life on shifting sands. People’s opinions are fickle. They love you today and then hate you tomorrow. We can see this with movie stars and music artist. Here today and gone tomorrow. Putting the direction of your life at other’s hands is to miss out your own life.
We need to learn to accept ourselves. Even those things we do not like in ourselves. Accepting does not mean liking what you see, but accepting that they are real. If you have a bad temper, you do not need to like your bad temper. But you must accept that you have one!
Only when we accept ourselves for who we really are can we start to grow. We must accept our strengths and also our weakness, the good and the bad in us. Only when we can look at ourselves objectively can we start changing those aspects of our lives that need improvements.
We must first win the approval of ourselves. I approve of me! Yes I approve of me because God approves of me. If God did not approve of me, I would not even be here.
If you want to win the approval of others, win the approval of the God first. God approves of your creation, but do you think He approves on how you are living your life right now?
But why do we want God’s approval on our lives?
Because we want joy!
Happiness can only be found when we are in line with God’s plan for our lives.
“Well done, my good and faithful servant. Come, share your master's joy.”  Mt 25:23

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HOW TO KNOW YOUR IN LOVE

Falling in love is a wonderful and crazy feeling that’s worth experiencing at least once in our lives. When you know you are falling in love, the way you look at the world and experience life can change in a moment. But the bigger question is how to know if you are in love? Well, find out here.

Falling in love is an experience worth living for. And the first time you fall in love, that’s a memory of a lifetime. But how to know if you are in love in the first place?

All of us have our own experiences in love, and every moment is as unique as the person who is falling in love.

Many believe in love at first sight while many others think the best kind of love is one where two friends understand each other and fall in love gradually.
Now however you may fall in love, the feelings are all the same. And when you’re in love, you’ll just know!

When you fall in love with someone, you start to experience feelings and urges that are quite unexplainable and confusing.

How to know if you are in love

Falling is love may be a single emotion, but that single emotion can cause so many hormonal, chemical and emotional changes, it’s almost unbelievable.

You’re definitely in love if you’re experiencing these emotions.

Butterflies in your stomach

For anyone who experiences falling in love it first sight, you can’t really help but experience butterflies in your stomach.

It’s a vague sensation of wanting to throw up and trying to get to the loo at the same time.

Your stomach starts to perform intricate back flips and the insides of your stomach feel like they’re fluttering!

So why does this happen? Surprisingly, no one really knows why this even happens! But it just does.

Some scientists believe this is due to the release of adrenalin by your body because of the nervousness you experience when you fall in love at first sight.

Unexplained happiness

Do you find yourself kissing pillows, jumping up and down in excitement and joy for no apparent reason and giving your lover funny little pet names? You may just be in love.

According to Helen Fisher, anthropologist from Rutgers University, when you fall in love, the levels of dopamine in the brain increase due to the increased blood flow to the regions where the receptors of dopamine are present. Dopamine, a pleasure chemical, makes you more excited, energetic and full of life.
The dopamine released in the brain make you feel sleepless, restless, full of happiness and make you think about your lover, a lot. Ever taken cocaine? That’s just like an intense burst of dopamine!
You can’t think of anyone else
When you’re in love, you can’t really think of anything else but your lover. They’d be tirelessly running around in your mind and you can’t work, remember things or focus on other interests. This is due to norepinephrine, a chemical compound that gets released along with dopamine, in the brain.
You get sexually attracted… a lot!
In a study conducted on several young couples madly in love, it was seen that the levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter found mostly in the intestinal tract, dropped dangerously low, something that’s experienced by people suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder.
But on the other hand, it was noticed that low serotonin levels in young couples increased the desire to have sex. Talk about evolution’s way of forcing the ritual of baby making while we’re completely attracted to each other!

You get depressed easily
Do you get upset easily if the person you like upsets you in any manner? Well, you may be in love. While the drop in the serotonin level makes you more horny, it also makes you depressed and anxious!
Even the smallest of things can upset you or your lover, and both of you may end up spending a lot of time trying to please each other with little acts of love and affection. While each act of love increases the love and attraction, each disappointment makes you more vulnerable to pain and depression.


How to know if you are in love
Falling in love with someone, and staying in love with someone are two completely different experiences. While most people believe it was love right from the beginning, falling in love actually begins with a note of lust and sexual excitement along with the flutter of love.
Falling in love is like a drug, and unfortunately, just like a drug, it doesn’t really last forever. While the levels of chemicals like dopamine and serotonin gradually come back to normal after a few months or years depending on the type of relationship, it’s up to the lovers to find ways to keep the excitement in love alive.
Every time you have a crush on someone, the whole game of chemistry in love starts firing the Bunsen burners and we’re back to square one all over again.

Please do share with friends and helps us to grow Thanks
 MINDSET
TFF

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HOW TO REDUCE THE NUMBER OF RAPE CASES "strictly for the ladies"

PLEASE THIS IS STRICTLY FOR THE LADIES, YOUNG AND OLD


Well as you know by now, the above topic is no longer news.. as a matter of fact it has been there
for so many reason which am about to explain BUT on a much serious Note... The spontaneous increase in the act is not necessarily Mindfulness but lack of proper Education on the subject and exclusive orientation and counsel.. All of these and many more put together made me write on this topic

WHO RUN THE WORLD?

AVOID DANGEROUS SITUATIONS

Be aware of your surroundings. Knowing where you are and who is around you may help you to find a way to get out of a bad situation.
Try to avoid isolated areas. It is more difficult to get help if no one is around.
Walk with purpose. Even if you don’t know where you are going, act like you do.
Trust your instincts. If a situation or location feels unsafe or uncomfortable, it probably isn’t the best place to be.
Try not to load yourself down with packages or bags as this can make you appear more vulnerable.
Make sure your cell phone is with you and charged and that you have cab money.
Don't allow yourself to be isolated with someone you don’t trust or someone you don’t know.
Avoid putting music headphones in both ears so that you can be more aware of your surroundings, especially if you are walking alone


IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS

While you can never completely protect yourself from sexual assault, there are some things you can do to help reduce your risk of being assaulted in social situations.

When you go to a social gathering, go with a group of friends. Arrive together, check in with each other throughout the evening, and leave together. Knowing where you are and who is around you may help you to find a way out of a bad situation.

Don't leave your drink unattended while talking, dancing, using the restroom, or making a phone call. If you’ve left your drink alone, just get a new one

Don't accept drinks from people you don't know or trust. If you choose to accept a drink, go with the person to the bar to order it, watch it being poured, and carry it yourself. At parties, don’t drink from the punch bowls or other large, common open containers

Watch out for your friends, and vice versa. If a friend seems out of it, is way too intoxicated for the amount of alcohol they’ve had, or is acting out of character, get him or her to a safe place immediately


IF SOMEONE IS PRESSURING YOU

Remember that being in this situation is not your fault. You did not do anything wrong, it is the person who is making you uncomfortable that is to blame

Be true to yourself. Don't feel obligated to do anything you don't want to do. "I don't want to" is always a good enough reason. Do what feels right to you and what you are comfortable with

Have a code word with your friends or family so that if you don’t feel comfortable you can call them and communicate your discomfort without the person you are with knowing. Your friends or family can then come to get you or make up an excuse for you to leave

Lie. If you don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings it is better to lie and make up a reason to leave than to stay and be uncomfortable, scared, or worse. Some excuses you could use are: needing to take care of a friend or family member, not feeling well, having somewhere else that you need to be, etc


PLEASE TO ALL THE LADIES OUT THERE SHARE THIS
IF YOUR A MAN, AM SURE YOU DO HAVE A SISTER PLEASE EDUCATE THEM
LET THIS SERVE AS A HANDBOOK OR GUIDE SHOULD THEY FORGET WHAT IS EXPECTED OF THEM

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SWEET LOVE POEM FROM

Love waits for one thing, the right moment.

Other men see angels but I have seen thee and thou art enough.

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.

I love you not because I need you. I need you because I love you.

Life is the flower and love is the honey.

If a kiss was a raindrop, I’d send you a shower. If a hug was a second, I’d send you an hour. If a smile was water I’d send you the sea. If you needed love, I’d send you me.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I love it when my heart smiles but when it does, it smiles because of you.

If it is wrong to love you, then my heart just won’t let me be right.

Think about it. There must be higher love. Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above. Without it, life is a wasted time. Look inside your heart. I’ll look inside mine.

Love is a game two people can play. You can both win and you can both lose your heart.

You are my strength but loving you is my biggest weakness.

To the world you might be one person. But to one person you might be the world.

THIS IS FOR YOU

please like our fan page here and share this poem with loved ones HERER

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