DESTRUCTIVE WAYSN THAT CAN HOLD YOU BACK FROM LIVING A GOOD AND BETTER LIFE

Your thoughts and mind are truly powerful. A change or a positive habit when it comes to your thinking can make a world of difference.

But on the other hand, getting stuck in the same old thought habit can be that one thing that cripples you, paralyses you, causes much suffering and gets you stuck instead of getting you to move forward towards a happier and more positive life.

In this article I’ll explore few common destructive thought habits that I have had to struggle quite bit with in the past and what I have done to overcome or at least minimize them. I hope you’ll find something helpful in this article.

1. You see things in black and white. Instead of seeing life as it is, somewhat messy with a lot of exceptions to different rules, you see things in black and white. You are right and someone else is wrong. This way is good and that way is bad. Things are either this way or that way and there no exceptions or gray areas.

This makes it harder to make sense out of things, to take action in the right way and can be a way of thinking that makes you more and more inflexible as time passes. You get stuck and you can become terribly critical and unfair towards yourself and other people. You put barriers in your mind and life and this creates a lot more unhappiness and suffering than necessary.

What to do about it:


Try to understand the other side. It’s easy to stick to your point of view. But you can gain powerful insights about the other person and yourself too by trying to understand their point of view. This also tends to decrease harshness and negativity and can make it easier to reach an understanding where both parties feel more satisfied with the solution.
Be aware. Like with any habit in this article, just being aware and paying attention during your normal day can help you to discover and reduce these thought patterns by stopping that thread of thought and then changing what you focus on.
Find the exception. If thoughts pop up telling you that you suck in school or that your partner never helps out at home then say stop before those thoughts become a big black cloud of anger. Pause for a second or two. Then ask yourself: what is the exception to this thought? Find one exception or more to that black and white thought you are feeding.
You may for example realize that your partner cooks a lot of the food at home or do many of the repairs. Or that you are pretty good at writing and geography but have some improvements to make when it comes to math.


2. You look for problems even when there are none.

This is a weird one. In the past I have found myself looking for problems even when there are none really. I think in part comes from snapping back into your old mindset. I used to be much more negative and see problems everywhere for many years. So the mind is conditioned to operate that way and so used to it. So on some days you sit around and suddenly realize while thinking that you are looking for a problem in a situation or area of your life where there are none.

What to do about it:

One thing that really helped me was to have this written down on my white board on my wall to remind me each day: “There is no problem”.

Nowadays, if I am faced with what I start thinking is a problem I ask myself: who cares? I most often then realize that this isn’t really a problem in the long run at all.

I also think this can come from thinking a bit too much about personal development and working on that. You become so accustomed to looking for solutions that your mind wants to find problems that it can solve. This personal development stuff is awesome. But read about and think about it in moderation and not all the time.

3. You are addicted to your comfort zone.

If you are always thinking about how to feel and be really, really safe then making a positive change will be impossible. The unknown and change is uncomfortable and scary to the mind because it tends to want your existence to be stable and continue to be as it has been so far.


What to do about it:


Do it in small steps. What holds us back in our zone of comfort is often a fear or that facing that fear head on might be overwhelming. Doing things in small steps allows you to stretch your comfort zone and slowly making it less uncomfortable and frightening.
Focus on the positive past. Realize it can be fun to get out of your comfort zone despite what your mind and feelings might be telling you before you get started. Think back to the previous times when you have broken out of your comfort zone. Focus on the positive memories, when you got out there, when you took a chance. And you will probably remember that it wasn’t so bad, it was actually fun and exciting and something new to you.



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