Don't stay with someone who doesn't care

Finding someone who not only care but love and appreciate us is something worth having no doubt too many people seek just this very simple feeling but end up going about a viscous circle of dirty dishes. While some have it going really great others are struggling, crawling a host of the majority are lost in the battle and trapped within the "I wish" situation. Quickly, permit me to stress it that, It is to your own disadvantage if you know well enough someone doesn't care but you push forward and further to be with them, it is by great percentage your Fault and your loss. If he/she doesn't care now, what makes you think they will care later? If they don't show love now, what makes you think they will in 10yrs to come? If they constantly put you do and make you feel little or worse today, What makes you think they will change?

Love is not a game of gamble, some poker or dice. You've got to get it right with every certainty and sanity or reap the Consequences that it bears fruit to. "There is no MANAGING A RELATIONSHIP" you can't patch it up and expect it not to sink everytime. That ain't going to happen. What do you need? You need someone who is qualified to give you all the comfort, care, loving, alluring, time and their audience when you need one. When you meet them eventually, You will not need to try hard to win them. They will see nobody else in that room or place but you, Only you. That's how amazing it is. What do you need to do? You need to be completely you and no one else, No funny exhibition of Attitude or borrowed character and accent. You need to be 100 percent Natural as being someone else or trying to be What "You think" they need will hit back at you really hard. You can't play someone else's character for long, it's Completely exhausting. Let them like and want you for who you are and what you really are. Usually when you meet the right guy, 15minutes of conversation should put all the facts on the table who they probably are and jf whether or not you should listen to what they have to say. You don't need to go through the stress of thinking thoughts and certainly don't need to wake up late night going through options or regretting the decisions you made. If they don't care and don't show you they do, then you don't need that stress on you at the end of the day. Do yourself a favour and get out while you still can, Their is no Managing a relationship... ~Trippleff Please Kindly share

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DIRECTION IS FAR MUCH IMPORTANT THAN SPEED

A very good day to you my favourite readers, also to new readers. Today I will be discussing and throwing light to why direction in whatever your vocation is is far much important than speed.

Direction first knows your calling, growing and developing the basic skills and putting them into work judiciously not minding TIME but taking absolutely full advantage of you might and creativity hence focusing your energy to achieve a task perfectly. Direction knows what is needed and when it is need and exactly knowing where to go every moment.

Time on the other hand is the period it takes for a task or anything that is worth doing takes up, consumes while TRYING to bring something into play or existence. Time is of essence to whatever one chooses to do and the application of it should be such that even while it is expended, a reasonable volume of work is outputted which in any case can be certified credible and valid.

                Now too many people are moving too fast to nowhere because they lack the direction and mostly this can be attributed to them having no Focus or goals. Some fail and expend time unknowingly to them; doing the wrong things over time with the hope of achieving so much within the time. “When there is direction, within the shortest period of time one would have achieved so much than what will take a visionless man so much time to come up with.”  Of which is some cases they actually end up wasting the time and achieving very little or nothing.

An old wise man once told me (My Father) “son, anything that is worth doing is what doing well” am very sure like my father did tell, somehow or someway you may have heard the word which means that if you actually want to do something and make an incredible impact then you have to give it your very best as that will leave a lasting significance in the heart of many.

Some people have no speed but quite frankly with the right mindset and direction they become very much more productive than their peers. Now I say this is where the principle of practical knowledge, understanding, focusing encompasses the whole embodiment of delivering.

Some people along the way get confused and lost. Some get lost simply because they want to be like someone else, someone they are not. Some people want to feel among and be accepted nevertheless not minding how much time it will cost them to achieve nothing and play themselves over time. Some other people also are caught up in a cycle tangled like a web working and nothing to show for it. However, it must be clearly noted that direction is what gives birth to focus and when you are focused, you will summon all your energy into being completely creative because unlike the rest without direction, you have a focus, a target, a vision and will go against every odds to actualize that which you have started.

Applying this to life, not minding what others are doing, not minding how far they have gone also not minding how much they are making. We all have different gifts and grace. It might take longer to make that much or less, it might also mean that you will have to work more or less but the bottom line here is Know your goals and know how to achieve them also remember that you are not in a competition with anybody so whenever you find yourself wanting to be like or practically going by the same footsteps others are taking just to level up and become like them “remember your faces are different. The journey is different and your goals in life are also different.”  Don’t be a copy, be the original. Stop following people, No what you want and also know what you need to achieve your goals. It is better to move like a snail to somewhere than move too fast to know where for direction is far much more important than speed….

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START YOUR DAY WITH THIS TIPS

 Start your day by carefully going through these Tips



We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.

If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success.

Learning is the beginning of wealth. Learning is the beginning of health. Learning is the beginning of spirituality. Searching and learning is where the miracle process all begins.

Be gentle to all and stern with yourself.

Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.

Set your sights high, the higher the better. Expect the most wonderful things to happen, not in the future but right now. Realize that nothing is too good. Allow absolutely nothing to hamper you or hold you up in any way.     

TFF 

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INSPIRATION (love poem)

You ask me if I love you,
Then you suck the lips off my face
And chew on the delicacy of their maroon creases.
'Body shop' lipstick, no. 12;
The taste of compact slabs of cherry.
This cheap adolescent disguise has guided me through all
my realizations.

I left it on the edge of plastic vodka glasses and blood smeared mirrors,
On the foreskins of Greek men,
And finally, on all your cliched perfume soaked letters.
Now it is in your mouth, your throat, your stomach.
You have swallowed my teens and all those fermented mistakes.

The ones I danced into blind,
Fumbling for an urgent exit
In whitewashed jeans and tobacco coated pockets.
All the words that flew out and assaulted
Steve, Damien, Kieren, Gary, Ben
(and all the others my high tech brain has crashed out and deleted),
Have left open wounds in my voice box,
gauged by their barbed wire font.

But as you savor the many varied tastes of my existence,
I can feel my insides frantically stitching and nursing
my pubescent cuts and bruises. Healing in seconds.
Now I am your fetus and everything is warm.

You feed me with a mother's strength and make me reborn,
Without all these zits and misadventures.
My new born 'Halleaugh' scream, realized from sterilized lungs
will be pristine, no lipstick stains in sight.

The answer to your question is
"Yes, Yes, Yes! "
Yes, I love you.
YOUR PURPLE MECHANICAL PALMS,
THAT AT NIGHT SOFTEN LIKE CHOCOLATE IN THE SUNLIGHT
AND MELT INTO MY THIGHS.
YOUR HEAVY TORTURED EYES, YOUR LAUGHTER
AND THE WAY YOU INHALE YOUR MARLBORO.
Yes, Yes, Yes.

I swirl out of your anesthetic
With a bacon rind for a belly button
And that's my first word,
A singular syllable.

I can turn the lens until my eyes are in focus,
And you, my surgeon, become my mother.
"Your adolescence has been successfully removed.
The operation was beautiful, wonderful,
Just fine. "

My log in word is 'You'.
That is all I remember.
I am a blank canvas, a cut- price jotter pad, an overflowing biro.
Write all over me.

Scrawl your name in my razor sharp armpits,
In my louse- free hair, my eyelashes bulging with years of mascara.
Practice your joined up handwriting on
My Mound of Venus and the folds of my labia;
Magenta pink and bald.

I am your Frankenstein,
but I promise not to fail.
I will get top marks in my oral stage, my anal stage
And all the others I don't remember,
Because we hit the doodle stage in class.

With you, I will grow old and withered
And our tree roots will be dangerously entwined with time.
We will become soil once again and make love amongst the worms.
'Yes' will be always be my answer, my mantra.
You will always be my host, my vessel;
A place to store my happiness and tears.

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KEYS TO MY HEART

I had closed the door upon my heart
and wouldn't let anyone in
I had trusted and loved only to be hurt
but that would never happen again
I locked the door and
tossed the key as
hard and as far as I could
My heart was closed for good

Then you came into my life and
made me change my mind
just when I thought that
tiny key was impossible to find
that is when you held out your hand
and proved me wrong
inside your palm was the
Key to My Heart
You had it all along

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IMPORTANT STEPS TO A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP

I have come to realize that most people are not really happy in their relationships. There is an all important step towards happiness in your relationship and that step is what I call; self appreciation. The world we are living currently is filled with stressful activities and uncertainty of the economy! Remember that there is a strong link between financial security, healthy economy, stress, job challenge and relationship approach.

  It is a pity that the world we live gives most people very few opportunities to sincerely relate or connect with their lovers and this single factor is Seriously causing arguments and complains from the victim in the relationship. One thing I have come to discover recently is the rising rate of people complaining that their partner doesn’t appreciate their beauty. Well, women are those suffering more as a result of this ugly development. Many ladies have told me that their male partners don’t really tell them how good they are looking often. It is also important to point out that some men are also experiencing this in their relationships

Now, when you are down emotionally, it means you will not be happy even physically and you know what that means to your relationship-frustration, endless arguments, complains, fighting and even cheating! When you look at most of these people who complain about not receiving the deserve appreciation of their physical look from their partners, you will discover that they are always nagging. It is because they are frustrated and their relationships suffer for it

However in a relationship you just have to be you but anyone else that's how you get it right and even, if you don't have much, present yourself as such because in real sense whoever will like or love you will do so regardless your financial endowment  or status
   I was once a victim but since i found the truth and inner peace and accepting who you really are, Nothing else really matters but the affection the love understanding and tolerance...where both partners will look past their respective flaws and find just reasons to be happy at all time mostly.

WHAT IS SELF APPRECIATION?

To appreciate yourself means to adore your personality, to see the good qualities you have, to tell yourself that you’re looking beautiful, to believe in yourself, to discover yourself etc. You know how good we feel each time our partner looks at us and say: “you are looking good, beautiful, and exceptional”?  It makes us happy, but if your partner doesn’t say it always and you desire it often, you can feel dejected!
   I urge you to start seeing the beautiful aspect of yourself. Remember that you cannot love your partner and express love fully to him/her if you haven’t loved yourself first. You must always look into the mirror and appreciate whatever you see there. You should be feeling good about yourself. Don’t rely so much on your partner to tell you how beautiful you are, say that to yourself too. Remember, once you are happy with yourself, you can easily be happy with others including your partner.


TFF

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WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH ( love poem )

The words "I miss you" can not display
The depths of how I care.

The words "I want you" do not betray
The extent of what I dare.

The words "I need you" can not convey
The extent of my prayer.

The words "I love you" do not portray
The heights of my err. ----Ron carnell

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MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES (Readers)

Hope is the thing with feathers -- that perches in the soul --
And sings the tune without words -- and never stops, at all ~TrippleFF---- NIG

If you are patience in one moment of anger,
You will escape a hundred days of sorrow ~Chris Deines --- Florida
 

Life can be like a roller coaster...
And just when you think you've had enough,
And your ready to get off the ride and take the calm, easy merry-go round...
You change your mind, throw you hands in the air
And ride the roller coaster all over again.
That's exhilaration...that's living a bit on the edge...that's being ALIVE.~Alex---NIG


Nothing bad lasts forever.
The only thing that lasts forever
Is God's love for you ~Janet Crushor----Scotland 



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WHAT ARE YOU AVOIDING?

Do You Deal Or Dive?

How many times have you found yourself avoiding something by diving into something else? We stand in this place of avoidance; repressing our emotions that are too difficult to face never realizing they could actually be a gift; an opportunity to heal what no longer serves us.

We find it easier to turn our attentions toward something else, subconsciously pulling ourselves away from the initial discomfort and not really wanting to take responsibility for the situation or the emotions that are on the surface. So we dive into a different pool of water, believing this detour will make the uneasiness disappear.

Most of the time, this re-directive dive may not seem like an avoidance technique at all. I know for myself recognizing and owning-up to my avoidance I needed to take a long hard look inward and become more conscious of my patterns of behavior, along with the "Why's" attached to them.

I put myself into a spin by mentally running non-stop; never giving myself proper time to quietly stop and listen to the never-ending information that is flowing through me. That's when I happily (unconsciously) become a carbohydrate addict. My dive of choice, my "redirection," is not consuming excessive amounts alcohol, or doing extensive hours of exercise, having mindless sex or even going on shopping sprees.

My dive is eating Bread!

I'm not talking now about eating crackers, cakes, or cookies.

I am a Bread-a-Holic all the way!

I am well aware of my addictive personality, being a recovering bulimic of many years, and I've learned through much pain, love and a lot of life's lessons to pay close attention to my own truth and why I was diving into something so unhealthy for me. Believe me I love bread and will never give it up, but I know for me that too many carbs and not enough balance of greens does not support me or "my spin" at all!

Know that deep down inside us, when something is out of alignment in our lives and we are sad more often than truly happy; …subconsciously we begin our dive. This dive of avoidance is all about not wanting to face our truth in why we feel so out of alignment. We will make every excuse to find other things to distract ourselves from thoughts and emotions that need to be addressed in the here and now.

We notice ourselves diving deeper into the avoidance, rather than seeking the courage to lift ourselves out of these depths. We need to recognize and accept our true experiences and feelings in order to allow ourselves to get back into alignment with the universal flow of things.

So with this observation, I am inviting you to stop and listen to the whispers getting louder within you. Stop, look and listen to your inner voice. Realize when you are diving instead of dealing; and check yourself before you get too deep! Only you know just how far down you will go before you re-surface and stop the madness! Allow yourself to flow in a natural direction rather than constantly swimming upstream.

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WHAT NOT TO DO IN A RELATIONSHIP

For many women, the first week after a break-up goes
a little something like this:

Hide under the covers. Sob uncontrollably while
watching reruns of "Sex and the City." Play "I Will
Survive" to feel empowered. Sob uncontrollably
because Ngozi has a man, while you are single
again. Talk to your girlfriends and feel better. Take a
shower. Sob uncontrollably in the shower. Repeat
sequence.
The cycle eventually ends in reflection. We ask
ourselves what went wrong and what part we played in
the demise of our love affair. Well, it just may be one
of these seven mistakes women make in relationships.

** 7 THINGS NOT TO DO IN A RELATIONSHIP**

1. Drunk Dialing: If you're upset at your partner, put
down the booze and step away from the phone. Alcohol
triggers deep-seated emotions that roar once the
sweet nectar brushes our lips. Once inebriated, drunk
dialing ensues. Like a clumsy boxer, you attack your
lover verbally, slurring through the conversation. In the
end, the relationship suffers. He thinks, "What
happened to the cool, confident woman he fell in love
with?" Too much beer and Coke, that's what.

2. Facebook Stalking: Facebook has changed the way
the world communicates. It also drives women to stalk
their boyfriends online. If he hasn't returned your
phone call or text, you check his Facebook profile. (He
just updated his status! Why didn't he call me back?)
If he went out with friends, you spend the night
scanning his photos. (Who's that girl he's hugging?)
And, of course, there's the dreaded relationship
status. (I changed my status to "In a Relationship."
Why is his status still hidden?)
Ultimately, stalking his Facebook profile shows a lack
of trust. No man wants to be with that woman.

3. "I'm Fine": Your boyfriend asks what's wrong. You
turn to him, shrug and say, "I'm fine," though you want
to kick him for not remembering your birthday or
changing his Facebook relationship status. "I'm fine" men to death. Women let their anger simmer
for fear of rocking the boat or just because they want
him to "figure it out." This is an unhealthy tactic. No
matter what you fear or assume, you must communicate
with your partner. If you don't, then he will think
everything is "fine." Until you drunk dial.

4. Nag, Nag, Nag: You tell him what's wrong. Every
minute of the day. That's a big no-no! As a woman, you
must give him time to process your feelings, especially
when it's a serious matter. When you nag and push, He
withdraw. They begin to see you as negative and that is
so not sexy. So speak your mind, give him space... and
regroup once you are both ready to tackle the issues.

5. Ignoring the Blaring Red Flags: Often times,
instead of ending a relationship, men call less, text less
and show up less. Still, but the girls push for the relationship. They
believe there is a chance for change because he hasn't
ended the relationship. The thing is men hardly ever
end relationships. They show you through actions, and in
many cases... it's their inaction that shows the women they want
out. That's when you must stop fighting for a
relationship that no longer exists.

6. Talking About/Comparing Exes: Nothing kills a
relationship faster than talking about your ex-
boyfriend and comparing him to your current beau.This
leads your partner to feel insecure, with good reason.
He doesn't need to know that your ex gave you multiple
orgasms or that he was the one that got away. If you
are still dwelling on your last boyfriend, you shouldn't
be with your new one.

And lastly

7. Compromise Is Not Sacrifice: Women sacrifice
themselves for the good of all. They are everything to
everyone, forgetting about their needs and what makes
Them happy. In romantic relationships, they suck it up and
"compromise" on relationship deal breakers because
They are afraid of the consequences. They hold it in
because they want to be the perfect girl. The thing is
there is no such thing as perfect.
So, when you are in your next relationship, take note of
these common mistakes. Remember who you are and
what you stand for. Leave the drama, self-sacrifice
and mistrust behind, and self-analyze to find solace in
heartache. Remembering what NOT to do can give you
better chance at lasting love.

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TFF

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WHO ARE YOUR REAL FRIENDS

In a time where social media is at its peak, the world is smaller than it’s ever been. Access to a plethora of information is at our finger tips, and it’s very easy to make hundreds, if not thousands of friends, from all over the world via the internet. Weather you have 17 or 1700 friends, a timeless question still remains, “Who are your real friends?”

The answer to this question can solve many problems, even within your Romantic relationship.
Distinguishing Real & Fake Friends:


A real friend is a person who only wants the best for you. A real friend genuinely wishes for your happiness and well being. A real friend would be happy if you are happy in a romantic relationship, job, with other friendships and endeavors.
If your friend becomes jealous because you have made new friends, becomes envious because you are in a happy relationship, or upset because you have found happiness in traveling or in a new love-NOT a real friend.


A real friend will do Real things with you: Hang out with you in your house when nothing else is going on. Listen and respect the inner most part of you which are your thoughts, feelings, gut intuition, philosophy, ideas and questions. A real friend knows who you are, knows your passions and desires, your ideals and goals in life.


If a friend is only there to party, for social gatherings, “likes” all your photos and statuses, feels the need to post on social media the slightest things you do together because they feel they have to prove something and basically share more cyber interactions then in-person interactions- NOT a real friend.
A real friendship has stood the test of time. A real friendship has been tested with difficulties, challenges, arguments, disagreements, heartbreaks, pain and sorrow. In spite of all that, the care, love and admiration remain the same or grow! A real friendship has no ulterior motives.
If you only see your friend’s face through a computer screen, if you met the person in a party or on vacation and decided to stay connected, if your times together have only been momentary happiness or physical pleasure with no profound emotional meaning, or if you only stay in touch because of what the person can offer you, like hookups, money, status, and any other material things-NOT a real friend.
Someone once told me, “You know its love when you think about what you can give into the relationship to make the person happy, instead of what you can get from the relationship.”
Integrity, love and respect are essential ingredients to a Real friendship. Selfish desire, personal pleasure and selfish gain are hallmarks of a fake friendship. Understand the difference between the two and set boundaries, you and your partner will thank me later.



TFF

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10 CHARACTERS THAT PERFECTLY DEFINE LOVE

The word love can be very ambiguous. I believe many times the word love is even misused.
I have a real problem with the vast false interpretations of love. So, I came up with 10 things I rather have instead of false love.

Personally These are the 10 CHARACTER THAT PERFECTLY DEFINES LOVE and these works for me (TFF) which is why i would love for you to try it...

Respect- Love and respect go hand in hand. without respect there is no love. With respect there is no physical, verbal or emotional abuse. Before someone claims they loveyou, make sure they respect you as an individual, for who you are, where you come from and what you do. With respect there is no discrimination, name calling or down grading. Respect is the ultimate factor in a having healthy relationship.

Loyalty-This is a characteristic that everyone should desire from someone in a loving relationship. A loyal partner is committed to the relationship and is determined to make it last. Think of your best friend, loyalty is probably the hallmark of that relationship, and it should also be an essential ingredient to a romantic relationship.

Honesty- Billy Joel’s song, Honesty, released in 1979 clearly depicts the essence of Honesty in a relationship:

“If you search for tenderness
it isn’t hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.”

Integrity- This is synonymous to having standards and good morals. An integral person will keep all the above mentioned characteristics and other values like love. I don’t think its possible to actually love someone with having integrity.

Faithfulness- This is self explanatory. Unless you are in an open relationship, most people demonstrate love by being committed to only one person in a relationship. Trust is associated with faithfulness. The question of a lifetime still remains, ‘Can you actually love someone without being faithful to them?’ I still don’t know the answer to that, enlighten me if you will.

Kindness-I believe that love produces kindness. You can demonstrate love by the way you treat someone, and kindness is definitively and act of love.

Care-Many people say the term love and care are interchangeable. If you love someone it means you care for them. Love is care.

Affection-What better way to demonstrate love than with affection? Someone people don’t know any other way to love than to show affection. The ultimate act of affection is sex, also known as making love; Need I say more?

Admiration- There must be something special about your significant other that made you love them in the first place, its called admiration. Love upholds admiration and admiration turns into love…

Faith- I saved the best for last. One of my closest friends, an intellectual, thinker and poet once told me, “Love is…like faith.” Those words have been pressed in my mind indelibly ever since. We can go on forever trying to figure out love. We may never fully understand how someone loves us, the only thing we can do is believe its there. When you love someone, you have faith in your love for them and in their love for you and you make it happen! You cant see love, you cant feel love, but you know its there, and that’s faith!



Be blessed & spread love,
TFF

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THE EX FACTOR IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Is thinking about your ex a bad thing?
Is it right and ideal to compare your ex to your present partner?

Its hard to forget your past, especially if you are a person who likes to analyzes life and try to find out what you can learn from your life experiences. I believe that everything happens for a reason and so, there is a lot to learn from every relationship you have been in.

I was discussing past relationship with a male friend who states that he no longer discusses his past relationships with his new relationships. He avoids telling the whole truth about his past because he feels that if he is completely honest with his new girl, the information will scare her away.
I agreed with him completely! I reassured him that there is no need to discuss his past with your new girl.
I was adamant about the idea until he told me something interesting :

“If the past doesn’t matter, then there would be no purpose for a resume.” I thought the statement was clever and it held some truth.

It’s important to talk about your past for several reasons:

1. First, you need to analyze your past so that you can learn from it. You can analyze it by writing your thoughts and experiences in a journal; or you can discuss it with a close friend. I’ve learned so much about myself in this new relationship, but its all because of what I had been through in my past relationship.

2. Most importantly, from a medical perspective, people should discuss their sexual history with one another BEFORE they engage in sexual activity. You should find out their number of partners, sexual practices: homosexual or heterosexual sex, history of STIs and use of contraceptives. These are important things to know before jumping in the sack.

3. Lastly, even though it is not generally recommended to talk about your ex, when your partner does talk about it, it gives you good insight on what type of person you are dealing with. If your partner tells you that his/her ex’s were along the lines of: crazy, drug addicts, manipulative, or abusers, guess what, most likely your partner has characteristics that attract those types of people, and if you don’t fit the description, RUN AWAY.

These days its hard to find someone with a clean slate. Its like Drake says:
“I feel like I’m bound to end up with somebody
That’s been with everybody.”

So at least be with someone with a descent past. Hopefully, we learn from our pasts relationships and make better decisions when choosing to be with someone in the future. Good luck


TFF

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HOW TO MAINTAIN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS FOR EVER

A person can be very close to their parents and family, but they feel more comfortable and it is often easier to share feelings with their friends. A true best friend is closest to the heart than anyone in the world - no strings attached, no expectations, and just support and care for one another.

BELOW ARE THE STEPS

Know clearly about each other. Ask questions. Keep on learning about one another all the time, endlessly. Never make assumptions about your best friend; he or she is always growing, as are you.

Bond. This means spending quality time together. Do things together, have a milkshake or coffee together regularly, have heart-to-hearts, go places together.

Feel frank to share every problem. You need to have trust.

Whenever you have doubt in your mind you can consult him/her. Talk about any and every problem.

To successfully carry out this you must note that

Do not lie to them

Love your best friend from the bottom of your heart

Always remember important dates

Never live them alone during important celebration

Stand in for each other like a brother would do

Listen to each others advice

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REASON BEHIND BROKEN HOMES TODAY

There is no place like home says a popular adage. There are many definition of a ‘home'. What then is a home? "A home is a place where one lives with once family" or "a place where one was born and has lived for a long time". It can also defined as an institution, where people needing care or rest are kept. Generally, it is a place of refuge, care, comfort, rest, security, help, love etc.
The home may comprise of the father, mother, children sometimes with any other member of the extended family. Then if the home has the above definition, what then, are the causes of broken homes. Here are 7 tips that are major causes of broken homes.

Wrong choice in marriage - how do know you marry the wrong spouse? When both partners are not in good terms most of the time. When one partner always regret marrying the other partner these are all signs of wrong choice. Disagreement is the only language they understand. They could be liken to two captains in the same boat heading to different destination. In this kind of situation, hatred, unfaithfulness, fighting, anger, suspicion, cheating becomes the order of the day and break-up is the end result.
Parental or friends influence. This is very common these days. Many broken homes today are caused by undue influences and interference of parents, friends and relations in the private affairs of the family. When a man or woman allows these third parties to be their advisers and confidants such a home is heading to a break.
Lack of genuine sacrificial love - This one of the major reason many couples have fallen apart today. Love they say does not fade. If truly you love your spouse, it will be very difficult to break away from such a person. The truth is that, when one of the spouse had found a new love elsewhere he or she becomes desperate and start looking for any means to breakaway. All you need is to water or renew the love you have for your spouse sooner or later it will grow to become a full tree of love with many branches.

Communication breakdown is also responsible for many broken homes today. There should be freedom of speech. Every problem should be talked over or discussed to find a lasting solution to it.
Sexual unfaithfulness to once wife or husband has caused lots of broken homes. Whatever you fancy in another man or woman that make you attracted to him or her, you can get it for your spouse. Be content with your spouse. Sex is good, but excess of it with many partners is very dangerous. Be satisfied with your spouse. This is the anti dote to this menace.
Stinginess/meanness and extravagant money management is equally not good for any home. Give to your spouse, meet his or her needs anyway as far as is your power to do so. If for some reasons, there is a delay kindly talked it over within the two of you.
Time consuming jobs is not good for the family. Your presence is needed by your spouse. I am not saying stay at home always with your family. Get me right. Undue attachment to once work at the expense of the family has caused lots of havoc in many homes. When a man or woman stays too long at work, the other partner will start feeling lonely, neglected, abandoned and sometimes frustrated. Striking a balance will be a good idea.
The list is endless. But the pertinent question is who want a broken home? Certainly, no one! The will God for us is to experience a blissful marriage. Cheers!

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MY APOLOGIES

I sincerely apologies for having been away for too long..i understand what damage it might have cause but it was due to some circumstances beyond my control i plea thee to forgive

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MY APOLOGIES

I sincerely apologies for having been away for too long..i understand what damage it might have cause but it was due to some circumstances beyond my control i plea thee to forgive

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MY APOLOGIES

I sincerely apologies for having been away for too long..i understand what damage it might have cause but it was due to some circumstances beyond my control i plea thee to forgive

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INDECENT DRESSING AND ITS EFFECTS

With  the integration of the social Media and technological advancement in our generation, the issue of indecent dressing has become a norm for both young and old with special effects on the young boys and girls of our time...
   Before i go further to expatiate on the effects of these kind of dressing i want quickly point out that FASHION  is a TREND not only to entertainers but to everybody and as such each clothing is specifically meant for a certain function, these FUNCTIONS should not be mis-regarded.

Dressing in a way that is likely to shock or offend people is called indecent dressing. Now, what is likely to offend people? Parts of your body (usually sexual organs) that normally should be covered, which for girls would be their breasts, thighs and buttocks. There is this trend of wearing trousers that expose the female underwear when she bends or sits down.

Guys also dress indecently when their boxers show above their trousers or there is no underwear and yet their trousers just barely hang on to their waists.
  How can one tackle this menace without trampling on the fundamental human rights of the individual? This is because indecent dressing is a relative term subject to several factors such as religion, culture, etc, thus making what is acceptable to you not acceptable to another.
There is also the possibility of law enforcement officers abusing this duty and using it as an opportunity to sexually harass women as exemplified by some universities whose security officers even go as far as physically assaulting girls whose trousers are not full length and wear sleeveless blouses.
This is why so many human rights organizations and civil society groups are resisting the passage of the bill on indecent dressing. It is obvious then that to effectively stem the tide of indecent dressing, a change in the mindset of the individual should be emphasized rather than coercion. The co-operation of all well meaning Nigerians is also necessary.
We must all realize that the seeming moral laxity of the Nigerian youth is simply a reflection of the moral bankruptcy of our various families and the society at large.
  More so, a lot of people have taking it a little farther by exporting it to various social networks for instance on FACEBOOK TWITTER you rarely find  people's decent pictures as their profile pics on facebook or Avarter on Twitter as its so called. There is the craziness on their pics, girls showing most sensitive part of their breast,cleavages thighs and even most recently pants which am sure they all know doesnt portray good image of them so do the young men.. Am not trying to be religious with this topic put to Educate us perhaps we have forgotten whats astake.

What the nudity problem needs is proper orientation of youths. 
Dress the way you want to be addressed. Imitating rock/pop stars who are usually half dressed for stage performances and video shoots is not wise.
The celebrities you imitate would never dress half naked to a press conference or a live talk show the way you dress to lectures or even church.
Theirs is a business strategy designed to sell their music. Your nudity can even be interpreted as lack of self confidence and the desire to court attention at all costs.
Wear clothes that suit your body size and not clothes that look good on your friend who is obviously several sizes smaller than you are.
We can't all be slim, so forcing yourself into a size 4 dress when you are clearly a size 6 would only make you look ridiculous.
Understand that when you keep your sacred parts sacred, you tell the world that you respect yourself and can achieve your dreams through hard work and perseverance and not by flaunting your 'assets'.
What makes human beings superior to other mammals in the evolution process is our sense of reason.
That is what should determine what you put on and not fashion

Am sure you have learn t a bit from this Article PLEASE en devour to share and like it

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FIVE IMPORTANT THING TO NOTE WHEN DISHING OUT A ADVICE

Do people usually come to you to ask for advices?  Does it happen that somehow you feel like they don’t buy in your advice and then you wonder why they come to ask for advice if they are not ready or willing to listen? This situation might happen at home with your significant other, at work with your colleague or even with your friend. They come and say please I need your advice in this and then the two of you start arguing and what was meant to be a source of help is now a fight where each party want to have the last word.

Here are the basic five keys to NOTE when giving a grate advice

1. Be present. When someone comes to you and say: I need your advice, the first thing they are asking you is to give them your time, to focus on them, and to connect with them. If you do want to give that person in need an advice, then stop everything that you are doing, stop thinking about your personal stuff from home or work, and listen actively to that person’s problem.
2. Acknowledge and appreciate. Too often when asked for advice, people want to immediately correct or criticize the person in need. What you want to do is to listen to how the person really feels and acknowledge. Don’t try to change or transform the person feeling right away. Let them know you understand their actual situation and feelings.
3. Ask questions. Remember in the first point I said you have to be an active listener? You don’t want to reflect the image of someone who just look at the person with no return or feedback. you might want to give some “Uh Mmm!!” to show that you are not bored or asleep and most important you want to ask questions that are solution oriented. Some people even when they come and say the want your advice, most of the time it might be that they just want to talk and express themselves, some other time is that they want someone who will help them find the solution on their own. So ask questions that help the person understands his/her situation.
4. Make the person feel better. Understand that people don’t come to you because they need someone who will yell at them or who has no sympathy for what they’re going through. The best to show sympathy and make the person feels good is to share with him/her a related story. If you went through the same situation, share it with the person and tell the person how you handled it. If a friend or relative of yours went through the similar situation, share the story. Most of the time, people want to know that they are not alone in that situation and want to know how the others made it through.
5. Give your advice. Finally, you want to give your advice in a very directive way. When someone comes and ask you for advice, they believe you can help. So when you give your advice you want to give it a way that justify your choice as the advisor. Based on your experience, your knowledge, your understanding of the situation, tell the person in a directive way what to do.

We all have people one day or the other that comes to you for an advice and the time we give for that advice and the way and professionalism that we give it can definitely change the person life.


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